Where Am I? Am I Distracted?

Focus: (v) (of a person or their eyes) adapt to the prevailing level of light and become able to see clearly (Webster dictionary)

Truth is, at times I get distracted. My most recent distraction has come in the form of routine. In order to have any type of sanity with my home life / mom life / wife life, I have to establish some sort of routine. For me, routines can be boring. I try to intentionally schedule in moments of spontaneity in order to stir my creativity but honestly, sometimes that is not possible. Other times, my distractions come from what I called the “Shiny Object Syndrome”.  I get it. Trust me I do and it took me a long time to even admit this is something I ever struggled with. I have done MANY things and been involved with a ton of opportunities, but as great as that has been for me, it has not helped me stay focus. When I get distracted I tend to question my journey. I ask if I’m doing the right things. I seek God for answers He has already given me. What I have learned is how to bounce back from being distracted. This time around I tried something different and I want to encourage anyone that may, like me, feel distracted at times.

1.)    I admitted to myself that I am distracted. This self-confession is so good for the soul. It increases your self-awareness and helps you give yourself grace.

2.)     Now that I realize where I am, I ask myself, what do I need to refocus? Inspirational books, conferences, speakers, or artistic expression are ways I get my focus back. My favorite places to find inspiration are:

a.       Podcast (there are tons out there that are really good. Try to listen to at least one per week, most likely on a Sunday/Monday; begin the week off right)

b.      Magazines: I like magazines because they aren’t books. They don’t require the long-term commitment of a book. I try to get a variety of magazines in the industries that appeal to me.

c.       Music: LIKE YES! Music has an amazing abilityto get me back on track. It’s the right track, with the right words conveying the whispers of my heart.

d.      Museums: I have no agenda. I just want to go and look and be inspired. The questions I often ask what was the artist thinking when they created this piece?

e.      Other people: I thoroughly enjoy deep conversation. Not all people do, but when I find someone that does, it is VERY inspirational for me

f. The word of God. I personally enjoy reading The Message version of the bible because it feels like I am reading a letter from a distant friend. Such an easy read and understand. 

3.)    Make a plan. If you are anything like myself, plans get me REALLY focused. I find when my plans change or I do not re-visit my plans it is hard to keep focus. I use Lara Casey’s PowerSheets to keep and set my goals. Feel free to find them here.

4.)    Stretch Yourself: Nothing great is found within your comfort zone right? So do something that you know will make you uncomfortable.  For me, it is meeting new people and allowing them in my inner circle. That is HARD for me. My trust levels with people are still kind sketchy, but over time I’m learning that not everyone is bad, mean or have ulterior motives. 

5.)    Find joy in the simple things. My daughters smile. I can’t explain the joy she gives me and inspires me at the same time.

6.)    Write your thoughts out on paper. Get a Journal or start blog.

If you are distracted, try one of those things. Whatever it takes, stay focused on what really matters. Let go of anything that is taking up too much of your time. The worst thing is a whole year going by or even half a year, and you realized you didn’t accomplish half the things you set out to accomplish. It's not about getting it done perfect, it's about moving along (progress). As Lara says, "Progress not Perfection".  Time goes by so fast and it is important that we maximize our days. Until next time lovelies……

Is Your Business Killing You? (Your Health Matters)

Today I wanted to share with you all the importance of being healthy while growing your business. All too often I see business-owners pulling all-nighters while drinking Mountain Dew or 5 Hour energy drinks all for the sake of the sale. I get it, and have done it myself but is that healthy? Not at all. Before I had my baby, I use to do crazy stuff all the time like that, but after having her my priorities changed. Not only did I want to be a healthier person, but I wanted to also know that I can enjoy the fruits of my labor long-term. Is it amazing to get a million dollar contract and cancer diagnoses in the same day? No. But it happens ALL the time. People get these awesome deals and the sacrifice is their health.

I want to encourage my readers to slow down. Find balance. I was sharing with a client recently that I only work on my stationery company 2.5 days out of the week. This is outside of regular posting and marketing. The actually hand labored work is only done a few days a week. For me this works because I want to put my marriage and family first and I want to cook healthy meals. I want to have mental, physical and emotional balance. Being on vacation this past week has revealed  yet again how important it is to focus on yourself and have soulcare often. The soul consist of the mind, the will and the emotions……and that needs tending in order for you to function at 100%. Your family, your friends, and your business needs you at 100%. 

Let me share this with you. In 2011 I was diagnosed with a Pituitary tumor. A few years before that my hair started falling out. Looking back now, I can see that I was under an IMMENSE amount of stress. My environment was making me sick, my mental state was making me sick and my out of balanced life-style was making me sick. What is your body telling you?

Another example.....while on vacation, my skin cleared up to a point that I hadn’t seen in years. I showed my husband and we both agreed that something MAJOR had changed. What was it? Well, the jury is still out on that and I will be going to see a dermatologist but I really do believe having less to do had something to do with it. What is your body tell you? What area are you out of balance in?

I created this 10-Day Vacation Detox Program for anyone that wants to get healthy, lose 10 pounds or just get back to a healthier lifestyle. I have included 10 days worth of breakfast, lunch and dinner, recipes and a shopping list. It’s my way of giving back to the business community. It cost NOTHING. That’s right…it’s completely free. Our journey begins May 16th. Make sure you sign up on our email list to get the daily emails for encouragement or follow @BusinessWithBridgette on Instagram.

Click here to access your FREE 10-day Detox Program!

Power Couples: What to Do When The Purpose Of Your Marriage Isn't Obvious

It's Anniversary week! This week (May 4th) my husband and I celebrate 4 years of marriage so this weeks blog is for married couples!

We live in an age where people desire to be some definition of something they see as successful. Today it's a career or ministry, tomorrow its marriage, then the house and kids and to cap it off it's the Power Couple.

I'm seeing this term more and more so I wanted to share our story with you in hopes that someone would be encouraged. My husband comes from a background of Pastors, preachers, singers, and musicians. When I met him I said, "You're either a preacher or musician" , he just looked the part. Well, he was a PK (preachers kids) and a well-known drummer here in Dallas (played for a popular mega-church, and many of the major gospel artist) After God confirmed that He was the one for me, I started looking at his background to see if our "purposes" aligned.

At first, I was confused! I don't have a musical bone in my body (well I have a talent to sing in 6 keys at one time; which my husband says is truly a talent...anyway I digress..lol) , I do have a background in church planting but we're both in agreement that Pastoring is NOT our calling (at least not until the Lord opens the skies and says so). When you have seen the rough nitty gritty of the call up close and personal, me in church planting and him as a PK...that's not something you run to do...it's truly a calling. So...where do we go from there? We stopped worrying about it and just said...let's just enjoy our relationship and God will reveal it in time.

My husband is someone I truly look up to because he is so confident in who he is and feels no need or desire to try and fit societies terms of who he is supposed to be on any level. That freedom has ministered to me on many days. It has guided us to realize that our calling as a couple is to other couples. Not only did we know that before we got married, but it has been confirmed through close friends and Pastors as well. But we were barely married. Needless to say, when you are called to something be ready the test are coming! Boy did they come.

Our marriage has been tested on every side it seems in 4 short years and just when we got it worked out, we get pregnant (our miracle birth...I'll share that on another post). A new baby brought new challenges. Where was our purpose in all of this...God was slowly giving us nuggets and revelation through it all!

I wanted to write this post because we not only feel called to married couples. We feel called to couples that aren't your typical "Power Couple" or couples that feel like they are Purpose partners but God is still revealing His idea when He confirmed their marriage. The good news is that even in this area FAITH is required as sometimes you just don't see it. As you walk forward, God reveals His plans. We have found this to be true in our marriage. As we walk forward we see it more and more. 

You see, it's not fair for us to place God in a box. Our boxes are small and narrow-minded but we serve a big, loving, creative God aware of our needs and of His perfect plan. So if you’re like me and my husband and were ever sitting around thinking "How do we fit" Just keep going, praying, enjoying each other and over time God will reveal it to you both! Don't compare your marriage to someone else's because again...God doesn't fit into boxes. Maybe he's called you both to do some trailblazing or something unique or never seen! Our God is so innovative so be open to His ways and remember not to stress about it. Enjoy each other and most importantly enjoy the journey! 

Later this week we will be doing a video. To submit questions for us email us at deonandbridgette@gmail.com 

Overcoming Mom Anxiety

The truth is for over 10 years I have struggled with anxiety. It was not until very recently that I realized how much it has affected me. I guess I don’t show it on the outside but I still deal with it internally. I use to feel like it had something to do with me or how I was made and I beat myself up about feeling that way because I truly thought something was wrong with me. After I had Olivia, I had a season of "post-partum" depression.  The anxiety sky-rocketed. After much therapy and counseling, I started the healing process and realized that when I feel “anxious” it’s not always due to something I did or someone did to me. It no longer controls me or my thought process. Took a lot of work, but like Iyanla says "I did my work".

I had to realize that Olivia (my daughter) was going to be okay. Even though I had to put her in daycare part-time, she is okay. (Being a stay-at-home mom is NOT for everyone. Don't allow ANY one to make you feel guilty. There are studies that say working moms (or entrepreneur moms) have more responsible children. Not sure if I believe that, but the point is that ANY one can prove a point using data. Just do the best you can do with what you have and give it ALL to God.....I digress).  I worried about what she would eat but even her daycare allowed me to manage her meals. I worried if the people that cared for her was really looking out for her, but then God showed me that there are only 3 other kids in her class and two adults. It’s not your typical daycare. In addition, one of her teachers is the sweetest person ever, she's in college, smart going to school to become a nurse. She’s been with Olivia now since she was 8 weeks old. She’s like her second mom. Makes me tear-up of thinking about it because she is SUCH a God-send. When I was looking for a good daycare I cried everyday and the process was horrible. The first daycare I walked in, did a short tour and walked out in tears. I couldn’t imagine leaving my little baby in that place. After failing to find a daycare that we were peaceful about, we prayed and asked God to send us to the place of His choosing. It had to be close to our home, small, with a early child curriculum and Christian-based at decent affordable price. I was VERY picky, and rightfully so. A few days later we found daycare connected to a church that was perfect! The price was perfect and we felt peace upon doing the tour and they have early childhood curriculum. Since then, Olivia has grown and loves all of her teachers and the staff.

She starts the next level early childhood for 18 months in August at a school that is one of the best Christian private school in the area and even still I felt anxiety about that. She will be around new students, new teachers at a new school. But then God reminded how he also sent us to this school as well. Bottom line….anxiety is an indicator that we are trying to hold on to something we were never meant to hold on to. When you give your concerns over to God, that is when peace comes. If you still feel anxious you haven’t FULLY released into His care. Trust in God brings peace in our hearts. It is that simple. What brings you anxiety? What haven't you released to God? What area are you not FULLY trusting God in?  We make it more complicated with this or that worry….but just like you trust the chair to hold you up when you sit down, blindly trust God. I wish I can say I was perfect in this area, but truth is….I’m on a steep learning curve trying to get better everyday.  I'm praying for you my fellow mom or woman friend dealing with anxiety.  If you were standing near me, I would hold your hand and say this prayer:

“God……..we need you. Heal us from every mental distraction that has our emotions out of order. Help us to not have anxiety. Help us to trust in you more. Walk with us closely God. Interrupt our day JUST to let us know your there. God thank you for every blessing that we do not deserve but that your GRACE has given us. Thank you for our children and our future children. Thank you for our families and our businesses. Lord, teach us to be content. Teach us to not look so far ahead that we don’t enjoy this moment with you. God we thank you…lead us on this journey. In Jesus name..Amen”

Mediation Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Power Of One: Weight Loss & Business Success

The larger your numbers the better right? Not always. In a world of “having more is better”, I want to introduce to you how the power of one has transformed my life.

Let’s start with weight loss. While I was pregnant with my daughter I gained exactly 41 pounds. The doctors want you to gain between 30-40 pounds so I wasn’t too concerned until AFTER she was born. I was expecting the weight to just fall off. For the first few weeks, the weight did fall off….then it stopped. I was thinking okay what now. I have never been “overweight” and this new weight was making me feel horrible! I hated it.  But even though I hated it, I could not lose it. My frustration was capped when I was in Mexico on our annual anniversary trip and we took a ton of photos. I then said to myself “Yea, this is out of control”. I’ll never forget feeling like I could not recognize the person in the mirror and it felt horrible.  When we arrived back home, I was on mission lose this fat. That was last year and since then I have dropped 20 pounds. Here is what I believe did it for me:

1.)    I made changes in my everyday diet. Less fast food and if I had to go to the fast food place, I decided to get something healthy. One choice.

2.)    I removed soda and sweets from my diet. I still had some but only occasionally at family dinners.

3.)    I did the vegan reset. Just Google it to find out more. Great way to jump start your process.

4.)    MOST IMPORTANTLY: I changed how I viewed this huge mountain. I remember telling myself “Bridgette, the reason it seems overwhelming is because you are looking at the big picture. Just look at the next step and decision. Take it one choice and decision at at time. So whatever is your next choice, make it a healthy one. Then the next choice. ONE decision at time.” 

I cannot express how powerful it was for me not to look at the big mountain but just in my next step. That has transformed me and now I am here 20 pounds lighter and I feel great! I still want to lose 30 more pounds to reach my goal weight but it feels SO good to know I am headed in the right direction.

The second area that this applies to is in business success.  It is true, business is a numbers game. The more people you can get your business in front of the more reach you have and the better probability that you will have sales. That’s why most people are trying to be “Insta-Famous” or get a million followers. But I want to share with you the power of ONE.

While growing my stationery company, I had a young lady that loved our products so much she posted our company on her blog page. All of a suddenly I had literally hundreds of sales coming in and I had no idea why. After researching it, I found her blog post. She has a blog that attracts 2 million readers a month. ONE person…..I never asked her to do it, she just did it on her own. Not only did she do it once, she did it TWO times within a six month period. I sent her some free items and a HUGE thank you. She didn’t have to do that, and I so appreciate her. So while everyone is going after a million followers which may or may not get a return on their investment, there may be ONE person that you need to connect with that will transform your business and life.

What can you gather from this? Don’t chase the crowds. Cultivate one relationship at a time. You never know if that person is your ONE.

The last area that the power of ONE can transform your life in is in your relationship with God. I think if we aren't careful, our busy lives can get in the way of quality time with God.  Days can go by before we sit down for long enough time to soak in what God is saying to us in this season. But even with this, don't think about how far you have gone without Him, think about your next choice. Even if you have strayed away from God, you are one decision away from reconnecting. I have heard people say "I've done too many bad things, I'm just not good enough".  Guess what? You are MORE than enough and with ONE choice....God can set you on a new path towards TOTAL FREEDOM! If you need someone to pray with you, let me know....we can do this. 

Have a great week! Let’s go higher!