Overcoming Mom Anxiety

The truth is for over 10 years I have struggled with anxiety. It was not until very recently that I realized how much it has affected me. I guess I don’t show it on the outside but I still deal with it internally. I use to feel like it had something to do with me or how I was made and I beat myself up about feeling that way because I truly thought something was wrong with me. After I had Olivia, I had a season of "post-partum" depression.  The anxiety sky-rocketed. After much therapy and counseling, I started the healing process and realized that when I feel “anxious” it’s not always due to something I did or someone did to me. It no longer controls me or my thought process. Took a lot of work, but like Iyanla says "I did my work".

I had to realize that Olivia (my daughter) was going to be okay. Even though I had to put her in daycare part-time, she is okay. (Being a stay-at-home mom is NOT for everyone. Don't allow ANY one to make you feel guilty. There are studies that say working moms (or entrepreneur moms) have more responsible children. Not sure if I believe that, but the point is that ANY one can prove a point using data. Just do the best you can do with what you have and give it ALL to God.....I digress).  I worried about what she would eat but even her daycare allowed me to manage her meals. I worried if the people that cared for her was really looking out for her, but then God showed me that there are only 3 other kids in her class and two adults. It’s not your typical daycare. In addition, one of her teachers is the sweetest person ever, she's in college, smart going to school to become a nurse. She’s been with Olivia now since she was 8 weeks old. She’s like her second mom. Makes me tear-up of thinking about it because she is SUCH a God-send. When I was looking for a good daycare I cried everyday and the process was horrible. The first daycare I walked in, did a short tour and walked out in tears. I couldn’t imagine leaving my little baby in that place. After failing to find a daycare that we were peaceful about, we prayed and asked God to send us to the place of His choosing. It had to be close to our home, small, with a early child curriculum and Christian-based at decent affordable price. I was VERY picky, and rightfully so. A few days later we found daycare connected to a church that was perfect! The price was perfect and we felt peace upon doing the tour and they have early childhood curriculum. Since then, Olivia has grown and loves all of her teachers and the staff.

She starts the next level early childhood for 18 months in August at a school that is one of the best Christian private school in the area and even still I felt anxiety about that. She will be around new students, new teachers at a new school. But then God reminded how he also sent us to this school as well. Bottom line….anxiety is an indicator that we are trying to hold on to something we were never meant to hold on to. When you give your concerns over to God, that is when peace comes. If you still feel anxious you haven’t FULLY released into His care. Trust in God brings peace in our hearts. It is that simple. What brings you anxiety? What haven't you released to God? What area are you not FULLY trusting God in?  We make it more complicated with this or that worry….but just like you trust the chair to hold you up when you sit down, blindly trust God. I wish I can say I was perfect in this area, but truth is….I’m on a steep learning curve trying to get better everyday.  I'm praying for you my fellow mom or woman friend dealing with anxiety.  If you were standing near me, I would hold your hand and say this prayer:

“God……..we need you. Heal us from every mental distraction that has our emotions out of order. Help us to not have anxiety. Help us to trust in you more. Walk with us closely God. Interrupt our day JUST to let us know your there. God thank you for every blessing that we do not deserve but that your GRACE has given us. Thank you for our children and our future children. Thank you for our families and our businesses. Lord, teach us to be content. Teach us to not look so far ahead that we don’t enjoy this moment with you. God we thank you…lead us on this journey. In Jesus name..Amen”

Mediation Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Power Of One: Weight Loss & Business Success

The larger your numbers the better right? Not always. In a world of “having more is better”, I want to introduce to you how the power of one has transformed my life.

Let’s start with weight loss. While I was pregnant with my daughter I gained exactly 41 pounds. The doctors want you to gain between 30-40 pounds so I wasn’t too concerned until AFTER she was born. I was expecting the weight to just fall off. For the first few weeks, the weight did fall off….then it stopped. I was thinking okay what now. I have never been “overweight” and this new weight was making me feel horrible! I hated it.  But even though I hated it, I could not lose it. My frustration was capped when I was in Mexico on our annual anniversary trip and we took a ton of photos. I then said to myself “Yea, this is out of control”. I’ll never forget feeling like I could not recognize the person in the mirror and it felt horrible.  When we arrived back home, I was on mission lose this fat. That was last year and since then I have dropped 20 pounds. Here is what I believe did it for me:

1.)    I made changes in my everyday diet. Less fast food and if I had to go to the fast food place, I decided to get something healthy. One choice.

2.)    I removed soda and sweets from my diet. I still had some but only occasionally at family dinners.

3.)    I did the vegan reset. Just Google it to find out more. Great way to jump start your process.

4.)    MOST IMPORTANTLY: I changed how I viewed this huge mountain. I remember telling myself “Bridgette, the reason it seems overwhelming is because you are looking at the big picture. Just look at the next step and decision. Take it one choice and decision at at time. So whatever is your next choice, make it a healthy one. Then the next choice. ONE decision at time.” 

I cannot express how powerful it was for me not to look at the big mountain but just in my next step. That has transformed me and now I am here 20 pounds lighter and I feel great! I still want to lose 30 more pounds to reach my goal weight but it feels SO good to know I am headed in the right direction.

The second area that this applies to is in business success.  It is true, business is a numbers game. The more people you can get your business in front of the more reach you have and the better probability that you will have sales. That’s why most people are trying to be “Insta-Famous” or get a million followers. But I want to share with you the power of ONE.

While growing my stationery company, I had a young lady that loved our products so much she posted our company on her blog page. All of a suddenly I had literally hundreds of sales coming in and I had no idea why. After researching it, I found her blog post. She has a blog that attracts 2 million readers a month. ONE person…..I never asked her to do it, she just did it on her own. Not only did she do it once, she did it TWO times within a six month period. I sent her some free items and a HUGE thank you. She didn’t have to do that, and I so appreciate her. So while everyone is going after a million followers which may or may not get a return on their investment, there may be ONE person that you need to connect with that will transform your business and life.

What can you gather from this? Don’t chase the crowds. Cultivate one relationship at a time. You never know if that person is your ONE.

The last area that the power of ONE can transform your life in is in your relationship with God. I think if we aren't careful, our busy lives can get in the way of quality time with God.  Days can go by before we sit down for long enough time to soak in what God is saying to us in this season. But even with this, don't think about how far you have gone without Him, think about your next choice. Even if you have strayed away from God, you are one decision away from reconnecting. I have heard people say "I've done too many bad things, I'm just not good enough".  Guess what? You are MORE than enough and with ONE choice....God can set you on a new path towards TOTAL FREEDOM! If you need someone to pray with you, let me know....we can do this. 

Have a great week! Let’s go higher!

A Longing For More

I’ll never forget the day God told me, “The worst is over”. It was almost 7 years ago today that he whispered those words to me. I had recently relocated to Dallas, Texas and remember feeling such a joy and contentment it actually surprised me.  I was single, working in finance and accounting and preparing to write my first book. My relationship with God has always been really honest and this particular day I was standing in my bathroom cleaning, when he said “Bridgette, the worst is over.” I burst into tears because my heart knew exactly what He meant. The joy I was feeling was new and usual.  People seek adventure, but my adventure started the day I was born. I was born into a broken home and family that was filled with pain and domestic violence. As a baby or child, you don’t know what is normal is so pain became my normal. Hurt became my best friend. The next 20 or so years of my life would be filled with my two partners in crime, pain and hurt. I’m not ready to share the grime details of my trauma, but a young girl should never have to experience what I went through. Yes, my mom remarried and we lived in a nice home with my stepdad and I went to suburban schools. But never judge a book by its cover. If you looked closer you would see the pain. The secret trauma that existed as I grew older became LARGER and more hurtful. My stepdad was the best thing that could have happened to our family but the pain of my real dad caused me to be so confused about life in general. Then more trauma came. I LONGED for my real dad and his attention, more importantly his protection. So much so I welcomed ANY male attention to confirm who I was. That is what a father does. He confirms the identity of his offspring. I don’t hate my father.  I love him, and try so hard to honor him while also being transparent about my story.  Some stories are worse than mine but my story almost killed me.  I was going down and fast until God snatched me from that pit and said “LIVE!” Because at the age of 11, I tried to take my own life. But then He gave me love. A love I never knew and without His hand over me protecting me my teenage years could have been MUCH worse. Then He gave me healing. That took 10 years and I’m still healing.

So this morning I woke up to God sharing with me that I needed to launch out into the deep. That he was calling me to a place that I’m not comfortable with or familiar with. This new place requires new levels of faith as you become the hands and feet of God in the earth.  It’s an Christian FAITH adventure. I wish I can say I was completely compliant but to be honest with you, I said..”God, some people grow up in nice homes, with good families and friends surrounding them lovingly.  Then they get older and they want to venture out into the world and go on a Christian FAITH adventure. That’s great for them God, but my adventure started when I was born so any adventure you are wanting me to take, I’m not feeling it. I don’t see it nor do I have ANY desire to go on an adventure!”  These are honest thoughts and saying. Like I said, my relationship with God is honest and transparent. He knows how I feel anyway.  That’s just us. At any rate, his response was a simple notification that came on my phone in the middle of our conversation. It was Galations 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (It came from the Bible Apps Daily Verse)  Welp! So much for my argument. He always does that!

Now I stand here totally uncomfortable not sure of what He wants but completely surrendered. I took all of 2016 learning how to fully surrender so I’m not taking that test again. This blog is not about business (in general). It’s not necessarily about family. It’s about FAITH. Can I take you on this uncomfortable journey of faith with me? I don’t know where it will begin….and I’m not sure what my next blog post will be but what I do know is that I’m listening. Let’s listen together……

Overcoming Content Overload

Who do I listen to? This person is saying this! This person is saying that! Most people liked there page. This person has a million followers. This person says this and that and blah, blah, blah!! 

I don't know about you...but it can get OVERWHELMING! While content rules in marketing I think we have gotten to a point that there is a CONTENT overload going on everywhere! I have attending two major digital conferences within the past year that included major corporations, technology based company and entrepreneurs. The words that they kept on saying, is content, content, more content. You need more content...go go go!! AHHH!! 

Okay. If you haven't already noticed, this topic hits a sore spot for me. I remember a day when content overload did not exist like it does today! I guess I'm getting old, but the library and Google were King! I mean Google is still King, but there are SO man Chiefs out there screaming there truths! So here are some ways to combat "Content Overload":

1.) Realize that you will NEVER know it all. Things are always changing so you can read a million blogs, listen to a million podcast and guess what a million people would have posted NEW information. Spend your time on finding your creative voice in all the noise. I say shut off the phone, go to a park or lake and just think. Who are you? If you don't know, go on a discovery of you and not just what everyone is telling you to be. 

2.) Take it one day at a time, one choice at a time. The BEST way I combat content overload, is say to myself that I'm only going to do what I can do today. That's it. If I read only one blog, listen to only one podcast or take one webinar class...or NONE of those, that's okay. Each day has it own set of problems so tomorrow will take care of itself. I think there is a scripture somewhere that says that. Matthew 6:34: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)

3.) Make GOD your first priority. When content overload exist in your life, you will go to bed absorbing it and waking up absorbing it. While you brush your teeth your listening to podcast or while your driving. Joel Olsteen said recently that if you are thinking "If only I can have this!" Whatever that is, that thing has the power to control you. It becomes an idol. But when you spend time with God, He controls you. He helps you see the truth; which is that everything you will EVER need is in Christ Jesus. 

4.) Shut it off. Take a day off. It's just too much to consume anyway. I take the weekends off. I spend time with family for a few reasons. Number one, I want my husband and daughter to know they don't come second to my business. Also, at night, I only work a few days. I really try hard not to bring work around them. I want them to feel like they mean MORE to me than this content that I'm reading or even this business. 

5.) If you create content, spend a day or hire someone to help you create the content for the month and be done with it. Don't let it consume your life because just as reading and absorbing content can take up all your time, creating it can as well. It's all about balance friends. 

Like this post if you agree and share with anyone you know that may be dealing with content overload. Also, feel free to connect with me on Facebook or  Instagram. 

How to Manage Your Time Better

Kids, Husband, Work, Business, Church, Community....oh my!! So many things that pull our attention and as women we are ALWAYS trying to to please everyone. I totally get it. I have the greatest issue with saying "NO". But life taught me that if I don't say no...it will all just fall apart as I try to juggle things I never was meant to juggle. Here are just a few key ways of managing your time better:

1.) Learn to Say NO! I taught a course on communication and there is an art in saying no. It goes something like this: "Hey sis, can you type of this document for me?" "I can't type up the document for you today as I'm working on a few other things, but if you ask your brother he might have more time to do it well". The key is to offer another better solution for them that doesn't include you. Other times, you just have to say "I don't have the time, I'm sorry." 

2.) Choose your priorities! This is so key. If something is being added to your plate that doesn't align with the mission and vision for your life it needs to be eliminated. 

3.) Hire help if it is in your budget. A virtual assistant works wonders for busy mompreneurs! Do yourself a favor. A great place to find one is Upwork.com

4.) Be present. I know this sounds like a given, but so often we are stretched in so many ways that we are never present. Make sure you give your full attention to your family, that project, that dinner, or your friends. Give the gift of you at 100%. That may mean putting your phone down. 

5.) Get a planner or if you are digital use the tools that are available. The life you want or desire is within your reach but you MUST use the tools you have around you! I'm confident you can do this!