This is a topic that is so near and dear to my heart for a few reasons. For one, I come from a background where my mom was divorced twice before I turned 18. I don’t blame her, she did the best she could with what she knew and her influence around her. The impact those two relationships had on me when they were broken was not felt until much later in life. Now that I am married with two children of my own, I’ve found so much value in my faith and keeping my family together AND healthy. Being a entrepreneur by nature, I knew that I would have my own business and after graduating from college as a single woman I had a few businesses. It was my main focus and I enjoyed my time growing it. Once I got engaged and married a few things changed on my end:
1.) I no longer desired the vision I had created for my “single” life. My focus now was creating the vision my husband and I had together as a couple. That takes time, trial and error as we were just learning how to be married and living with each other. (Aka “dying to your selfish ways”)
2. It was weird but all my plans were null and void because they did not include my husband. Where was he in this picture? I was willing to give it all up and start over. That was rough and very hard. But a sacrifice I made for my marriage first. It was also something we discussed in detail before getting engaged. A very important conversation to have I might add.
3. Once I was engaged, my whole desire changed. Yes I wanted to grow my business but more so I wanted to have a healthy marriage. I didn’t realize it but I brought in so much junk that caused a ton of issues between us. This has taken me years to figure out and truthfully I’m still in process. Most married people no matter how long they have been married will tell you they are STILL learning their spouse. It’s a life long process.
So here I am in my 5th year of marriage and I’ve noticed a boom in entrepreneurship but not the same boom of success happening in marriage and faith. Trust me I’ve looked and search for help in all three areas....then I realized that this is an area under attack. There are a few but not many that have found success in these areas. Truth is, families are under attack. Marriage is under attack and the enemy of our souls is hoping we are too busy building our businesses to ever see how broken or vulnerable our families really are.
One person I admire and would LOVE to interview is Joanna Gaines. The woman does faith, family, marriage and business like a pro! Here are few things I’ve learned from her just by watching:
1. She includes her husband and kids in her business on every level. They are apart of her brand.
2. She’s not afraid to be herself and share her faith in any venue.
3. She has a clear vision of what she wants and she stays true to that.
4. She is strong in her relationships both with God, her husband and her children.
5. She’s intentional. I read in one of her articles that she has to schedule in family time and then be fully present. Not only with her husband but with her kids. Each one. That’s takes time, energy and focus.
This is the beginning of my new series of Marriage & Families Under Attack. My husband and I refuse to sit around, fight our own fight without helping others as well. We’re learning and growing but I already know my business is not where it could be because I just have other priorities. That is okay and actually wise...don’t feel bad mom or wife for focusing on what really matters long term. Yes build that business, but don’t do it at the expense of your faith, family or marriage. More to come....