My son turns one this week, so I’m dedicating this whole week on my blog and Instagram page to him. He’s my first son, but my second child. I’ve been quite emotional honestly. This whole year went by so fast and I feel myself having a moment of bittersweetness. Like yes, I’m grateful for him to be growing up and healthy, happy boy. But it’s a realization of how fast time has flown by that gets me sad. Like before you know it, he will be 18 going off to college (if that’s what he chooses). This time last year I was nervous about the road ahead of being a mom of two. Now...I see what I missed and what I wish I had known before baby number two:
1. No one can quite prepare you FULLY. Every child is different. Since I was having a boy after having a girl, everything felt new. The boy mom world is so much more different than the girl mom world. Also this was my first time committing to the breast feeding journey. My daughter had complications so we formula fed her. Approach it ready to learn but will a wee bit more confidence on what to expect.
2. Your Heart will expand to love them both. That was a main fear of mine. Like I loved my daughter so much and she got so much of my attention, how was I going to make sure she still felt loved. Be intentional. Right after Josiah was born, we planned a day of fun just for her and went to see Disney On Ice. Literallly like 10 days after I birthed him we made sure she knew she was still important too. I bounced back quickly after having my son so don’t do it too quickly, take your time. There are other ways to ensure the older sibling feels included. Just be intentional and plan for it before the baby comes.
3. Depending the age gap make sure the oldest has as much independence as they can muster up. Our kids are 25 months apart in age so my daughter had just turned two when my son was born. I wanted them close in age but she was still very needy. We worked hard to help her have as much independence as she wanted to have. She did good, but we were still very much involved as parents of two small children.
4. Plan dates night out and be super intentional about going on dates. It’s important that you don’t allow yourself to be easily swallowed up into the life of parents. Once kid number two comes everything becomes about them EVEN more. Make your time as a couple priority. Some days it just won’t work out but even if it’s sitting at the kitchen table having a nice ordered on lunch while the kids sleep. That’s better than nothing. They need you both to be happily married (or at least trying) in order for them to feel safe and secure.
5. Don’t compare your children. They both have unique giftings and callings. Allow them to prosper and evolve naturally with your guidance.
6. Encourage there relationship by letting them play together. Introduce them early, let the older sibling help.
7. How did you handle post-partum? What did you learn with your first that taught you more about yourself? How can you implement those lessons into baby number two? Great questions to thing about.
One thing I wish someone would have told me is that, you’re more ready than you realize. You will find your way and with God on your side you will be the best mom ever. Each day will be a journey but remember this is such a blessed time. Enjoy these babies. They need you healthy, and happy.